Communication: An Act of Love

Joel Fry, LSW, TEAM Restoration Ministries

December 18, 2006

Why are family meetings important for patients and families facing critical decisions?

• To communicate current family needs

What help is needed

What information needs to be gathered

What gaps exist that need to be covered

• To communicate responsibilities

Who needs to do what in terms of financial decision making and

arrangements, medical decision making and arrangements, issues of practical care, transportation needs, and property maintenance and arrangements.

• To reconcile family members

This needs to be done face-to-face rather than via e-mail or telephone or letters, all of which could be easily misinterpreted

Make sure to include people who might feel left out

Make sure to include the patient at the center of the issue

• To communicate information

What is the most recent medical information needed to be communicated to or from the patient’s physician and medical team

This could be done via e-mail or phone or letter if it is communicated the same to all family members.

• To gain or create respect for thoughts and opinions

E.g. here is what is going on and here is what we have chosen to do about it up to this point

Here is what we’d like to do

What are your thoughts and opinions, knowing that you are going to home and we have to continue.

• To coordinate care

In the absence of communication, truths get created!

When should family meetings be considered?

• Prior to diagnosis

As soon as you see changes in a person’s behavior or health

• At the time of diagnosis

Here are options, what do we want to do?

• At time the patient or caregiver’s needs change

What kind of support is needed

How has the behavior changed.

• Crisis points

Such as major downhill spiral

When caregiver gets sick

• Approaching death

This is a time of stress

Need for emotional support

Change of health status

• Family meetings need to happen regularly

At the end of each meeting, set a date and time to meet again

If the family member is in a care center, get as many family members involved in the care planning meetings as possible

Encourage those who cannot attend to follow the planning meetings recommendations

How can one create family meetings?

• One person can call a meeting, or several people together can call a meeting

It could be a family member or a health care worker who calls the meeting

• Needs to be a safe place for all

A loved one’s home, church, agency

Make sure to include the loved one

• Identify the overall goal of the meeting

What needs to be decided at this meeting

• Identify the meeting objectives
• Identify a need for third party leadership

Use a 3^rd party leader when dealing with a heated situation

Use a 3^rd party when there is a need to tell the care giver he/she is burning out

Use a 3^rd party when you need to decide a tough outcome

• Identify who will lead the meeting and why

May be an adult child or spouse

May be an outside party

• Identify who is invited and why

It is typically not helpful to include in-laws

Tell people why they are not included if they are not going to be included

It is ok to not invite everyone if they are not part of the decision making process

• Identify the need and time for future meetings

* Tip: You need to figure out who in the family can get the patient to do something and figure out how to capitalize on that!

Joel Fry can be reached at TEAM Restoration Ministries, LLC

515-238-9010

teamrestorationministry@crosspaths.net